Re:EMDR & Dissociation & Parts

First, I haven't been reading posts nor anything else lately, so, I just read your response to my earlier post.

I know my therapist hasn't "forced" me nor anyone inside to "look" without their consent. Unfortunately, some inside tend to force me to see things that I, #1) don't necessarily want to see nor acknowledge, #2) don't know how to "digest" what they have to say and show, and #3) just don't know how to accept, what to think, what is true, not true, real not real, etc..

My therapist has never "forced" me to participate in any revelation. If anything, I probably force myself beyond perhaps my limit. I do this because of frustration, because of a deep desire to "get it over with", thinking it can't possibly be "that" disturbing. Then "something" does become that "disturbing" and it seems I'm back to square one.

On behalf of therapist, I honestly can't blame mine. If anyone pushes I think it's me. I want and I want and I want it all now, I want to be normal, I want the nightmares to stop, I want the parts to be content, I want to just be normal and I WANT IT NOW. So, I must admit, that I think much of my difficulty is more with me, and those within, then my therapist. Believe me, she is far too patient, far too kind, and far too considerate. She isn't perfect -- however, you know what, no one else would have ever gone the distance, no doubt in my mind.

So, don't give up, there are "good" therapist out there and they do care and they do try as best they know how. At least in my case I know that is true.

I just want to be normal, to sleep, to remember, to know why, just to know what happened yesterday without gaps. I thnk I'm the impatient demanding one. Why she is still sruggling with me is beyond my comprehension.

So, you know what? There are good EMDR therapist out there. We may not always care for the info we get, but honestly I don't think you can blame your therapist for that at least I can't. Even though I certainly might like to. Life can be hell. So where do we go from here, I think, is the next question.

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Re:EMDR & Dissociation & Parts, by , 08/21/01

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