Questions about EMDR

I have been sought therapy for nearly twenty years because of severe depression, anxiety, and the lingering effects of past trauma. The therapy I have been provided has included medications (anti-depressants, anti-anxiety), hospitalizations, cognitive, traditional talk therapy, group, 12-step programs, and behavioral. None has afforded me any relief. In fact, my condition has deteriorated over the years and therapy, especially talk therapy which has involved resurrecting painful memories, has exascerbated my situation, increased my depression, and intensified my anger. Some therapists -- I have seen nearly 30 -- have diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder with strong narcissistic traits.

Recently, I sought EMDR treatment. Thus far, I have undergone two sessions of EMDR. During both sessions, my body began spasming violently. The spasms, which began in my face and eventually spread the length of my body, lasted approximately 30 seconds. I feel no relief from the sessions to date. My depression remains intense and my anger has become even more extreme.

My questions:

*Are the spasms normal during an EMDR session? If so, what do they mean?

*Why have I not found any relief after two EMDR sessions? Much of the literature about EMDR states that trauma victims often feel much better after just a few sessions.

Thanks,

Brian

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