EMDR FORUM ARCHIVE, 2000
Re:Blocking Belief?
ln · 10/18/03 at 2:46 PM ET
I tried to phrase my question and concerns in the abstract because I know that this forum is not equipped to do case consultation, but I'll try to get more specific and remain general at the same time. I have a history of abuse that includes several perpetrators in my childhood as well as an abusive first marriage. I worked through a lot of this in talk therapy over ten years, but when I became a mother in my second (happy) marriage, many issues I thought had been resolved resurfaced at a deeper level. I've been doing emdr for about 3 years now, and worked through much of this again. I usually start out with an issue that then leads to a specific memory and it takes me about 6 months to get down to a SUDS of 0 with that memory. However the work spreads out and seems to cover all memories of that type: ie that particular perp and that phase of the abuse. It also changes the beliefs that are particularly associated with it, but I notice that some of the beliefs resurface again because, I imagine, the same beliefs were inculcated by other perps, other phases of abuse. I never admitted that my mother was abusive when I did talk therapy. It's only something that I've had to face because my parents' visit caused me to be sick for a month, so sick that I thought I had a chronic illness, and was worried about how I was going to raise my young children while being sick. Fortunately I'm well again & struggling with this in therapy. One blocking belief that I do have is that I'm not allowed to have fun, but I'm not sure how this would relate to the SUDS popping back up to 9 or 10 as emdr is not fun, that's for sure! Could thinking I'm supposed to exist but not to live be a blocking belief? That is particular to my relationship with my mother, but I wonder how it would be possible to work on that belief out of the context of the abuse.
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