Re:dnms and dissociation

I don't think you are asking me... but I'll tell you what I meant.

I was thinking of a child who is expected to go to school each morning, even after having been abused. The child develops a functioning self, who in some way (amnesia or other method) denies the abuse. This functioning mimics, or is an introject of, the abusive parent who also, in some ways, "functions", both as a parent and as a human being.

When such a functioning introject seeks help, it would seem to me that sometimes he/she is seeking help in maintaining unawareness of the abuse, not in resolving memories, or escaping present mistreatment, whatever the case may be. A therapeutic alliance with such a part could conceivably be counterproductive... after all, it's not ideal for a therapist to join a client in his/her denial of reality.

Such an introject might deny access to other wounded parts, or more insidiously, might allow access to those parts while allowing the entire self to remain enmeshed in unhealthy patterns or relationships. So while the therapy might focus on past wounds, the introject would keep present wounds "off the radar". A bland, pleasant, functioning front self, if he/she does her job correctly, does not indicate what is being hidden, just a child dresses for school to hide signs of assault. The best costumes are the ones that don't look like costumes at all.

The concrete scenario is this: I know a lot of abuse survivors who remain enmeshed in abusive scenarios, even as they work on "childhood" issues. Therapy stalls... and it is not always clear why. After all, the "functioning introject" shows up for appts, seems willing and motivated to work. Yet, like the child showing up for school each morning, the introject has a vested interest in NOT disclosing, not healing, in maintaining connection and attachment to abusive dynamics.

It seems to me that seeing this part of self as an introject makes it easier to open lines of communication. If the functioning front self is seen as possibly "inauthentic" and NOT adult, but as a costume, then one can invite the part to "dress up" differently. But if a clinician continue to see the front face as the authentic or core self, then there is less room for dialogue and change. The therapeutic alliance, in effect, may become "stuck" in a common denial of present reality.

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