Okay, I have a very different view of dissociation via splits than the currently accepted theories involving hypnosis. Part of the reason is because I have a medical background and have spent a bit of time researching trauma, but also I have a horrendous childhood history of continual and repeated trauma, and I know what dissociation feels like and it is not hypnosis by any means. Dissociation is exactly the same feeling you get when you are in the middle of a trauma. And by trauma I do not mean daily stress, even extreme stress. I mean when you know in your face right now that you are going to die. So if you have ever been violently assaulted, been in the middle of an intense firefight, suffered a horrible auto accident, or other such incidents personally - when you knew your life is over right now, then you know what dissociation is like. It is the same. The brain floods with glucocorticoids. You feel time stretch out and dilate, every detail is pristine and sharp edged and bright and colorful. You notice and record every single thought, muscle twitch, emotion, every tiny sound, including each background sound no matter how indistinct, every feel of your hands and body on the textures that surround you, every little tiny grain of dust, every little movement of the material of your clothes as it moves across your body as you breathe. And you will forget nothing and nothing will be altered by time. And your body is tense and unreal, and you feel frozen and wide-eyed, quiet and intense and ready for action. And you feel no pain, and you have enough adrenaline to do whatever needs to be done, but you do not feel the jitteriness and wild rush that usually comes with adrenaline, because your body is like steel and your whole being is focused on one task - survival. This is not hypnosis. This is trauma. And this is dissociation. DID is a more severe form of PTSD. It is not a delusion. It is not a "gift." It is not something we do or did to ourselves. It is not a defense mechanism. It is a physiologic reality and change that is caused by physical trauma, or by emotional trauma that is perceived in the same way. If you have ever been in this type situation and can remember what that experience was like, then you can know what living with dissociation is like every day for a survivor of childhood trauma. We live with this day in and day out every day. This is what we are triggered into during a dissociative episode, and believe me, it would be so much better if it WERE hypnosis. But it is not. Diane
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