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Re:Transference and the Whole Therapy Relationship!!!
· 01/03/02 at 9:12 ET
<And how does that touch affect you? I still have my reservations and it's not something I would do, but I would be interested in hearing how it has helped you.> This question was not directed specifically towards me, but I would like contribute my own experiences. I have had two therapists, one who did not use touch, and currently, one who does. I have always had this fear that I am so disgusting that it would make people sick to touch me. Irrational, I know. When I was seeing the therapist who did not use touch and always stayed at least four feet away, it made me feel as if this fear had been confirmed. The theraputic relationship also felt somewhat cold and impersonal. Don't get me wrong, she was a very warm person who did her best to comfort with words, but sometimes, just a little touch can be the most comforting thing in the world! I have developed a sense of trust much more quickly with my current therapist, who does use touch. It is good touch. If I am freaking out, she will come and sit by me and hold my hand. I have only asked for a hug once and she willingly gave it. I would have been hearbroken had she not. For me, actions speak louder than words. It is one thing to TELL someone you care, it is completely another to SHOW you care. Yes, there are other ways to reflect caring other than using touch, but for me it has been extremely healing. I understand this is a complicated issue. I don't think it is an issue of touch/don't touch. It depends on the client and therapist, and the situation.
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