Re:Follow-up Adult Children of Divorce

John,
So glad that the info was of help. Here's one that allows some work to happen on anything that was raised in other excercises, or, it can be used by itself as a start to working.

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This excercise can help to resolve a dificult or painful incident from the past. You might want to focus the excercise further by suggesting an incident relating to the divorce is used. Give enough time inbetween directions for people to focus and get to their details.

You as group leader will read out the instructions as follows.

"Sit comfortably and do some relaxing breathing to centre yourself....Go back in your memory to an incident in your life which involved conflict....(connected with your experience of your parents divorce/separation)....Recall it in your mind and what took place, every detail and how you felt...Now replay the incident again and imagine a new ending where you change your response to the incident. If in the actual incident you kept silent,imagine yourself speaking.If you left imagine yourself staying.Picture yourself responding/behaving differently.... Imagine what the responses of the others would have been and what you would have felt.....Now take time to explore what other alternatives there were in this situation for you..."

Afterwards the group can share their experiences in the large group or in pairs.

This excercise helps to see that you did have an alternative(if you felt overwhelmed for example)and that if you felt powerless and helpless it can offer a sense of power now. If a childhood situation is chosen then you can look for patterns which continue in your adult life, like holding back anger when you dont need to or not asking for things because you're afraid of not getting them.

This excercise came from a book that I have often used. It might still be in print,my edition is the 1982 reprint, and is a book targetted at Women self-help groups but many excercised are adaptable to other settings/mixed gender etc. It's; 'In our own Hands-A book of self-help therapy' by Sheila Ernst and Lucy Goodison. Published by, The Womens Press, London.

Regards, Liz.

Replies:

Re:Follow-up Adult Children of Divorce, by John Hopson, 11/09/01 Re:Follow-up Adult Children of Divorce, by Liz, 11/10/01 Re:Follow-up Adult Children of Divorce, by John Hopson, 11/10/01

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