Dale, your warm and open reply has helped me a lot. When I read it I felt relieved. And when I looked how it came that some simple honest sympathetic words from somebody I did not even know personally could relieve me so much I realized that over the last two years I had gradually deprived myself of just too many and too essential sources. Especially your "darker suggestion" has hit the nail on the head, Dale. You have pointed out several other important aspects but this is the main thing I gained from your message. And I am grateful that you took the time to lend me a helping hand. Warmly, Claus