New Year On Line
Tatiana Matveeva (In · 12/29/98 at 9:38 PM ET
Hello:
I'll be online in the New Year night. I think I wouldn't call anyone to be with me in my home. I think that I wouldn't cook much for the celebration and I really think that I wouldn't care about "christmas tree" (orthodox christmas will be only 7th january)... Nobody will come to me or will present to me something. It's incredible loneliness - and I live in that loneliness two years already. After my mother's death I found some type of consolation in computers and internet. And so on... After my father's death I'm absolutely alone. This 'internet addiction' is not a worst way to forget about all unhappy things for some time... it is not the absolute cure, however... attempt to forget about all heart pain... a consolation, when you don't want to live...
Sorry for my sadeness, but it is really so... May be my friends will come... or I'll be alone... or on IRC... may be people will continue to think that I'm lucky and happy, working with my sites, newsgroups, IRC channels... but sometimes I so want to leave everything...
Tatiana Matveeva / inity@bigfoot.com /
http://inity.junik.lv
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