Hello, I've come to have an argument..

The lack of arguments in the Rant Room actually came as quite a pleasant surprise for me. I didn't go into that room for months after it was created because I simply don't enjoy arguing. The fiery exchange that precipitated the creation of the rant room (it was over the nanny murder verdict in Boston) had made me very uncomfortable. It was distressing to see friends getting so angry over something like that. It was obvious that feelings were being hurt -- participants were taking differing opinions very personally, and I know that some behind-the-scenes e-mailing had to be done to patch up misunderstandings between some people. It was obviously upsetting to our hostess also, and she quickly set up the other board, and such disruptive, emotional behavior was basically forbidden in the main 'room'.

I don't know how it was in there initially, but when I finally decided to check it out, I found that it was very calm and civil, with some amusing observations about unamusing topics. It is a place for us to vent, whether it is about recent political developments, frustrating classes, or just plain yucky days -- and anyone doing such venting on the main board is politely asked to take it to the Rant Room.

I think that posting something in the Rant Room is a way of saying, 'This is something that really bothers me. It may not bother anyone else, but if it does, I'd like to hear about it. We're all friends here, let's discuss without fighting.' By posting in that particular place, the person is acknowledging beforehand that what he or she is saying may not strike everyone the same way, that other people could have differing opinions or thoughts, which in turn, gives everyone else the confidence to offer their own thoughts on the matter calmly and without being offended. It often becomes a place where good advice is given and, usually, accepted.

I wonder how it would work in f2f life...you know, wearing a 'rant hat' or something -- some kind of visual disclaimer to let people know that you're about to say something potentially inflammatory or offensive and they shouldn't take it personally. But then, I guess that could take a lot of the excitement out of life....

Replies:

re: arguments in the Rant room, by John Suler, 8/23/98

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