Re:Alderian and Grief / loss

I will give you an Idea of how I tend to approach this from an Adlerian perspective. A major difference would be how we would look at the grief and our reasons for using interventions that others would also use. I would start with emotional support and by helping increase my clients capacity to cope with the waves of emotion. Often there is a mistaken belief that they cannot cope and some skills training can help correct that. I would ask questions about the meaning of death for my client and the place the deceased held in this persons world. This will give me an idea of compensations that may be needed to fill the void. I would be looking for what the experience seems to be asking of my client. This would give me an idea of how they are using the experience. How one uses what one is given is a major issue for me when working with clients.

The loss of a loved one can be seen in terms of inferiority and how one compensates for it. The process of grieving and the various stages that one goes through on the road to acceptance can be seen as the contortions we go through to avoid facing our own ultimate weakness, smallness, and lack of control in the face of natures reality. On the socially useless side, one may unconsciously take on the pain of grief to avoid the greater pain of ultimate personal responsibility. Grief may be used to manipulate nurturance from others. One may use it as an excuse to avoid or neglect personal, work, and family obligations. I would look at this in terms of other life patterns and how this fits in to the hole of how the client tends to move through life.

On the socially useful side the pain of grief may lead a person to a greater awareness of their interconnectedness and interdependence. It may be used to allow a previously "independent" person to now reach out and find comfort in others in an open way with out guile. It may eventually lead to an understanding of how others suffer and add compassion and a since of service. It may lead to gratitude for what one has. One may see this death as a test or a sign that they need to make their own way. So they use therapy as a place in which they find the courage. And so it goes. It is different for all. So for me, the goal is to help my clients face death and their own weakness with courage and social interest. I want to help my client use the experience for their good and for the god of others. If they are stuck for prolonged period in selfish irresponsibility, I want to ask questions around the consequences of their choices and if this is what they want from this. I ask questions about what else the experience may be asking of them and fish for ideas of responsibility and encourage them to live as if it was true.

It is a great time for memories, guided imagery, and dialoguing with the past. Dreams come more often and are more material for treatment. It is when a person is stressed that they discover who they really are and the underlying lifestyle becomes apparent. It is a time for seeing the past and the future in a new more useful way with new choices and goals. Mine is just one application of the theory. I hope others will add some more ideas here.

Craig

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Re:Alderian and Grief / loss , by Emily, 10/04/01

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