Re: Self-Acceptance and Growth

The expenditure of great effort toward a goal may be challenging and stimluating, and might result in fatigue, but does not have to include psychological stress and physical tension. Much of the disturbing distress may come from fearing or feeling a dreaded sense of inferiority, or unconsciously sensing the comparison between one's actual accomplishments and an overblown, fictional, final goal. (The perceived progressive distance from that goal is also experienced as progressive anxiety.)

Struggling with a formidable difficulty can even be felt as highly pleasurable. A relatively constant attitude of improving oneself and situations can be carried out quite effectively with calm, self-acceptance--chronic dissatisfaction and frustration are not the very best motivators. Positive "aggression," as in attacking a problem vigorously, can be quite stimulating and even yield what Hans Seyle described as a state of positive "eu-stress" (an optimal level of stimluation for an individual). A task that may be "too much work" or "too hard" for the individual operating according to deficiency motivation, may be "delightful play" to another functioning at the level of growth motivation. The differences in feelings and results can be dramatic when one loves what one is doing for its own sake, and one is not trying to silence a exaggerated feeling of deficiency.

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