Adler's Viewpoint (full text)

Adlerian principles for resolving conflict and eliciting cooperation between any family members, can simply be extended to step-parents and step-children. Parental dominance and depreciation are usually rooted in personal insecurities and mistaken ideas of authority and superiority. It is often difficult to convince parents or step-parents to change their dysfunctional parenting style as long as it relieves their own feelings of inferiority. If a therapist can empathically gain their confidence, they might be willing to examine the real consequences of their style, and then explore the potential benefits of a more democratic style.

Adler emphasized a child's preparation for dealing with new, difficult situations. Generally, a pampered, neglected, or abused child will have, and make difficulties, when a family situation changes and step-parents are introduced. However, a cooperative child may be able to deal with a new, even less favorable situation, more successfully. Look at The Education of Children, by Alfred Adler, Chapter 9, "New Situations as a Test of Preparation," and Our Children in a Changing World, by Erwin Wexberg (may be hard to find).

Two other books that might be helpful to read are: Children: The Challenge, by Rudolf Dreikurs and Vicki Soltz, and Your Inner Child of the Past, by Hugh Misseldine. The first deals with the principles of Adlerian child guidance, the second (not explicitly Adlerian) explores the short and long-term consequences of dysfunctional parenting.

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